4. Communicating Effectively with your Relative and Setting Limits
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Effective speaking
The DESC framework will help you speak specifically, positively and assertively:
Describe the situation:
“When you . . .” (behaviour)
Express your feelings:
“I feel . . .” (emotion)
Specify what you want:
“I would like/prefer . . .” (need or desire)
Communicate the consequences:
“I will . . .” (positive payoff)
“You will . . .” (positive payoff)
(Adapted from Bower, S. & Bower, A. (2004). Asserting Yourself: A Practical Guide for Positive Change. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press.)
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